Fluffy, the Petty Demon Slayer
by Dalamar Nightson
Summary: Major Buffy bashing! When Buffy takes a vacation to Concord, she finds out that not all vampires are as easy to kill as the ones who live in Sunnydale.
1. Buffy's Diary

**Disclaimer**: I own neither Buffy characters not characters or places created by Amelia Atwater Rhodes.  
  
**A/N**: Okay, to start, I'm going to let you know, this was written as Buffy- bashing. This first chapter is from her diary, and a very slanted view. Never fear, the whole thing will not be like this. I'm going to omniscient in the next chapter. I'm also bringing in AAR's characters in the next chapter. I apologize if anyone is offended by my poking fun at everyone's favorite Slayer, but I just can't stand the girl. So, I hope you enjoy, and I apologize for the shortness of the chapter. Review, or I'll bite you! ,,

**Fluffy, the Petty Demon Slayer**  
  
**Buffy's Dairy:**  
  
**July 1, 2004, 9:00 PM**: Dear Diary, I was out on one of my nightly vampire hunts. I walked slowly along a wooded street, attempting to see into the darken wood to be warned of any incoming vampires. Suddenly, I felt a great foreboding as a dark cloud covered the moon.  
  
My super-sharp Slayer senses alerted me just in time, and I took a step forward as a vamp jumped out from the trees and landed (rather clumsily) right where I'd been standing. I twirled around, really fast with one leg in the air, and hit that stupid parasite right in the stomach. He, weakling that he was, bent double, and then fell to the ground on his knees. He looked so pitiful I considered sparing his worthless life... death? ... non-life!, but then remembered – this is a vampire! A parasite that lives (doesn't live?) only to prey on humans! So, without any further scruples, I drove my stake right through the _thing_'s evil heart. He then turned to dust like they always do.  
  
As I walked home via the grocery store, I realized that something was missing in my life. I suddenly realized – life was no longer exciting. Sure, I had a major night job, living near the Hell Mouth and all, but it was all boring now. I mean, how many nights could you go around staking, staking, staking. All stress, no excitement.  
  
Then, I knew what I needed – a vacation! But where to go? L.A? One of the National Parks for a real outdoors experience? The east coast? An island? I decided on the north-east, because I was also sick of the heat. Though it's summer, and likely to be warm there also, it would still be a welcome change. After looking through several travel books upon my arrival at home, I decided on a place- Concord Massachusetts.  
  
That town was supposedly historic, but not too big. That way, I could relax and not get bored at the same time. Sounds like a good plan to me. I think I'll leave tomorrow. It is summer break after all, so what's holding me back? I think I'll go talk to my friends about it.  
  
**July 1, 2004, 10:00 PM**: Well, that didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but oh well, my vacation, not theirs. First, I told my darling sister Dawn. Know what the bratling said? "Roadtrip! So, when are we leaving, Buffers?" I HATE it when she calls me that. I told her I was going alone. She shut up after that. She's just jealous because I'm the Slayer and she's not.  
  
Then, I talked to Xander and Willow, who just happened to be conveniently in my Living Room. They didn't take it very well either. Willow went on a rant about how I'm "supposed to be the Slayer, and I can't just up and leave like that! That's abandoning responsibility. Don't do this Buffy!" In nicer terms, I told her to stick it.  
  
Then, Xander started going on about "What are we going to do without you here, Buffy? You know we can't fight like you! Don't leave us!" Pitiful little man. I told him he'd deal. Now, I need to go pack so I can leave in the morning. 


	2. In a Little Coffee Shop

**_Disclaimer_**: Yeah, yeah. I don't own anyone. Also, one of Buffy's reactions was roughly taken from Miss Congeniality. If you know the movie, you'll know where. If you don't, you wouldn't have sued me about it anyway.  
  
** In a Little Coffee Shop  
**  
Risika woke up in the late morning, having decided the night before that she'd enjoy an actual **day** out. So, when she woke up, she pulled on a black tank top and khaki capris, and strolled to her favorite little coffee shop, only a few blocks from her house. She got there and sat down at a table in the corner.  
  
"Good morning, Elizabeth!" The waitress' name is Alexis, and she works in the coffee shop for some extra money in the summer. Naturally, Risika doesn't give the humans her real name – they have a tendency to notice that she doesn't age.  
  
"The usual?" Risika nodded. She always got a cup of coffee so that her presence would go unnoticed. Coffee cup in hand, she started watching the other customers, as was her custom. This morning was fairly dull. First were two older teachers complaining about pay cuts. Then, a young couple came in, also whining about money issues. Did these mortals think of anything but money?  
  
Then, someone different came in. She was a small older teen with the shimmery golden-blonde hair many girls would kill for. She walked with a fighter's grace, but Risika could tell she was an amateur. Her eyes were big and liquidy, as though she was about to cry. For some odd reason, she seemed familiar to Risika, though the vampire was sure she'd never met the girl in her abnormally long life.  
  
Then, Risika laughed. The girl had started talking to herself. Oh, wait. She had a diary! Even better! She listened with sharpened ears. When she heard what the girl was saying she started laughing harder at the irony of it. "Buffy's Diary, Vacation. Well, my trip here was a very long plane flight, and completely uneventful. Well, I'm looking forward to a vampire free vacation, and will now get a cup of coffee at this very normal looking coffee shop."  
  
Risika suddenly realized where she'd known the girl from. The TV show! Buffy the Vampire Slayer! She'd always thought it was a pitiful show, though mildly amusing. That girl would not last a day in the REAL world! Suddenly, Risika had an idea. She had been looking for some fun!  
  
Risika got up, taking her cup of coffee with her. She went over to where Buffy was sitting, and smiled at the young human. "Hello! Are you new in Concord?" Without asking for permission, she sat down in the chair across from Buffy.  
  
However, Buffy seemed happy for the company. "Actually, yes. It's my first time here – I'm just on vacation. I come from California. Do you live here?"  
  
_Perfect_, Risika thought. _She's falling for it hook, line, and sinker._ "Actually, I do. Do you want a guide? I can show you all of the historical places, and I know a spot with some great nightlife!" She smiled enticingly.  
  
"Oh!" Buffy seemed delighted. "That would be great, if it wouldn't be too much of an imposition. Do you know much about the history?"  
  
Risika bit back a laugh. "Not an imposition at all. There's nothing better to do around here anyway. And as to history, I know more than you could imagine. History is a bit of a fascination of mine," _seeing as I lived it_. Risika didn't say that last part out loud, because the game would be so much more fun if Buffy were kept in the dark. The two 'girls' left the coffee shop after paying.  
  
For the rest of the day, Risika led Buffy in a genuine tour of the town, showing her all of the interesting historical sites, keeping a running commentary or historical facts. Luckily Buffy didn't seem very interested in lunch. During the day, Risika decided to take a look into Buffy's mind.  
  
What she found was quite laughable. She had no problem prying – the 'Slayer' had no mental walls up, or any other form of protection. In looking in the girl's mind, she saw she was right. This was indeed the world-renowned Slayer. In looking, she saw that the girl had a nasty habit of making her deeds seem greater than they actually were. For instance, the last time she went on a vampire hunt at night, when the vampire jumped down behind her, she let out a high-pitched shriek of terror. Things like that.  
  
It was not with reluctance that Risika bid Buffy goodbye for a few hours. Babysitting a human teen was exhausting! Before Risika took off, Buffy tried to get her to come to dinner. "Come on! I have to do something to make it up to you for giving me a tour! Please?" She looked as though she were about to cry again. Buffy seemed to do that a lot.  
  
However, Risika declined. "I'm sorry. I'm a bit _picky_ about what I eat. I'll get a bite at home." She smiled, and before Buffy could protest was gone.  
  
Buffy turned to Risika. "We can go wherever..." Her voice faded away as she noticed Risika was nowhere to be seen. "That's odd. I guess I'll get dinner and wait at the coffee shop for her." She shrugged and walked toward and interesting looking restaurant.  
  
Meanwhile, Risika was at her house, preparing for that night. First, she swapped her black shirt for a bright red tank top, over which she put a sheer gold-flecked black long sleeve shirt. Then, she got out a pen and paper.  
  
_'Dear'_ Aubrey,  
  
I know we're not on the best of terms, but I'd like to ask a favor of you and Jess. Don't make me force you, as you know I could. It'd be more fun this way. Today, a young lady, by the name of Buffy Summers came into Concord. I decided she could do with a bit of tutoring about the real world. I think it should be quite amusing, and it might be even better if more of us are in on this little joke. Be at Las Noches tonight at nine. You'll know what to do.

Yours, Risika  
  
Risika folded her letter, put it in an envelope addressed simply to Aubrey, and sealed it. She then transported herself into Aubrey's territory and left the note in the street, with a black rose on top. She stayed just long enough for him to sense her presence, and then left to hunt, in her own territory.  
  
Risika decided everything would be so much more fun if she were blatantly vampiric, hence the red and black. Though she was usually quite clean, she left a bit of blood from her kill on her lips, glimmering like vibrant lip-gloss. _Perfect,_ she thought.  
  
She transported herself back home and climbed into her car. She had a black Jaguar, with the vanity plate PREDATOR. She smirked as she drove up to the coffee shop, where she knew Buffy would be waiting. "Hop in!" Buffy was, indeed sitting outside the coffee shop, and got in the car without any hesitation.  
  
Buffy, in her overly peppy, cheerleader way, spoke. "So, where we going? Is it far? I don't want to stay too late – I'm already a bit tired."  
  
Risika smiled. "Don't worry. Not too far. You go ahead and nap. It's no offense at all." As she said that, she reached out with her mind and put Buffy into a deep sleep. Then, she transported all of them – herself, Buffy, and the car to New York, in New Mayhem. She drove the conventional way for about five more minutes, and woke up Buffy when they neared Los Noches. "Wake up, Sleepy. We're here!"  
  
Buffy looked around in surprise. "How long was I asleep? I must've been more tired than I thought. Nice lip gloss, by the way. Great color!"  
  
Risika grinned. How oblivious was this girl? "Thanks. And you were out for a while. Don't worry, it was a boring trip anyway. Here we are." Risika parked the car and led the unsuspecting Slayer into Las Noches.  
  
As usual, the nightclub had blasting loud music, even louder to Risika's heightened senses, a bright red strobe light, and a mixture of humans, vampires, and everything in between. The furniture was black, and the mirrors covering the walls were still broken from Risika's fight with Aubrey. That suited Risika fine – her reflection's absence was less likely to be noticed with shattered mirrors.  
  
"Great place!" Buffy shouted over the din. Risika restrained herself from laughing out loud. Two of the strongest vampires in the world in one room (for Risika could feel Aubrey there), and the almighty Slayer couldn't sense a thing!  
  
"Want anything to drink?" Risika offered Buffy.  
  
"Alright. What do they have here?"  
  
"Pretty much anything you could want." Risika smiled, the blood on her lips glinting in the red strobe.  
  
"Whatever you get is fine." Risika got two drinks, and sat back down at the eerie mushroom-like table. For a couple of minutes, Risika and Buffy talked about everything that had no meaning whatsoever. Then, Risika felt Aubrey come closer, and sensed Jess with him as well.  
  
However, instead of simply walking across the whole room, they walked halfway, and then teleported the rest of the way. Suddenly, they were right behind Risika, and Buffy let out and earsplitting shriek of fright. She grabbed at the cross around her neck, and held it out. The three vampires reacted in no way other than to each raise one eyebrow in identical expressions of disdain.  
  
"Anything wrong?" Risika asked innocently, one eyebrow still pointing skywards.  
  
"I thought I saw..." Buffy's voice trailed off lamely. "I mean, ah ... I forgot to pray before taking a drink! Yes, that's it. Forgot to pray." She got off the chair onto her knees, still holding the cross forward. "Dear Lord, thank you for the drink I'm about to receive, and please don't let me get to drunk. Being drunk would be bad. Yeah..." She finished her 'prayer' a bit lamely, and got back into her seat.  
  
Risika struggled not to fall on the floor laughing. "Did Aubrey scare you? Little ol' Aubrey?" She grinned, knowing he would be infuriated. She turned around slightly, and saw that Aubrey had indeed known what to do. He was dressed in a sleeveless black shirt which showed off his muscled arms, which were heavily tattooed with hellish beasts from different mythologies. He wore his customary upsidedown golden cross around his neck, and black pants. The whole effect was so thoroughly stereotypically vampiric that Risika wasn't surprised that even the oblivious Buffy was startled.  
  
She nodded in greeting to Aubrey, and then to Jess, who was dressed just as stunningly in all black flecked with silver that accented her naturally pale skin. Her eyes were dark; she hadn't bothered to change the color they'd switched to after she'd been turned into a vampire. Her lips were bright red – Risika couldn't tell if it was true lipstick or blood as she was using. All in all, Jess looked like something strait out of a horror movie.  
  
Risika turned back to Buffy. "Two of my ... acquaintances. Aubrey and Jess, meet Buffy. She's from California."  
  
Buffy blushed. "Hi. I'm sorry, you just startled me. Old habits die hard, I guess. D'you want a drink?" Buffy attempted to cover her fright with a change in subject.  
  
Aubrey started to laugh, a cold, cruel sound. Jess and Risika, realizing what he found funny joined in. After the three vampires had gotten control of themselves, Aubrey addressed Buffy, all courtesy. "I apologize for laughing, a bit of an inside joke. Anyway, I'd love a drink, but not right now. Thank you." Risika and Jess smirked, knowing what Aubrey was really talking about.  
  
After that, Buffy seemed fairly eager to leave, so it wasn't long before she and Risika got into the car again. Once again, Risika sent Buffy into a deep sleep while she transported the car mentally back to the coffee shop. After that, they made plans to meet again in the morning.  
  
Risika went back to her house, and jotted another note to Aubrey before falling into bed, and going into the deep, dreamless sleep of a vampire.

**A/N**: Sorry to announce this, but I likely won't post for a good long time – as in a month or more. Well, if I don't, thanks to everyone for reviewing, as you should definitely do, because I will still have internet access, though no WORD. Thanks to all my reviewers.  
  
Ather-black – Hope you liked this too. Sorry I won't be around for a long time.  
  
Athtor: Glad you enjoy my bashing. And in calling her 'everyone's favorite slayer', I was being sarcastic. Sorry, I tend to forget that on fanfic, people don't necessarily read things the way I mean them. Just a clue – anything nice I say about Buffy is most likely sarcasm.  
  
Jade Limill: Thanks. This chapter answer your question? Though because of your request, (and how this chapter practically wrote itself) I will put in more of him than I was originally planning. 


	3. Risika's Hospital For Aged Women

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Buffy (thank God) and unfortunately, I don't own any of AAR's vampires either. A note – this chapter is written from Buffy's point of view, and therefore is very slanted. So, I'll ask you not to puke at her ego, and read between the lines to find out just what happened. By the way, I didn't say anything to insult anyone here – that was Buffy talking, not me.  
  
**Risika's Hospital For Aged Women**

**Buffy's Diary:**

**July 4, 2004 11:00 PM:** Today, I had a really good day again. Once more, I met Elizabeth at her coffee shop for breakfast, and she took me around town again. She's really nice, but she sure does hang out with some odd people. Oh well, look at me! And I'm sure doing well with such wierdos as friends!

Anyway, being the wonderful person that I am, I asked Elizabeth what I could do to repay her. She thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Actually, there is just one thing. My favorite charity is holding a blood drive nearby. I gave only a few days ago, so would you mind giving some blood?" Naturally, I told her yes.

So, after breakfast, we walked over to a big building. It had a sign saying "Whole Earth" on the front, and Elizabeth said that it was a clinic for those people suffering from addictions, as well as a community hang out. It didn't make much sense to me how those two things could go together, but oh well.

So, we went inside, and there was a big assortment of younger people walking around. In the center of the floor were several armchairs set up for the people getting their blood drawn. Many of the people were either drawing blood or getting it drawn, and some running around with bags of blood. Seemed pretty disorganized to me, but it seemed to work for them.

I asked Elizabeth who the people taking the blood were, because few of them were old enough to be doctors, and none were dressed in medical garb. All laughed and joked with their patients. She said that they were med students. All became clear.

We walked over to one of the chairs, where an older teen smiled at us. "Hi! I'm Caryn. I don't recognize you. What's your name?"

I liked the other girl immediately. "Hi! I'm Buffy Summers. This is Elizabeth. She told me that her favorite charity was holding a blood drive today."

She frowned a bit. "And which charity would that be, um, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth grinned. "Risika's Hospital for Aged Women of course!"

Caryn smiled again. "Oh! I didn't realize that they were accepting already. I'm glad to hear it. Very glad."

Elizabeth smiled. "They don't get much of a demand for frozen blood, but I heard they need it today. It can be shipped to the Hospital on ice." Something seemed odd about the way the exchange was going, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Caryn nodded, and seemed not as happy for some reason. Then she cheered up again. "Okay then, Buffy! Just sit here and I'll attend to you myself." I sat down in the chair, which was quite comfortable, and waited.

Finally, she was done preparing the needle, and I did **_not_** shriek when it went into my arm. I also did **_not_** yell when she took it out. Anyway, it was finally done, and a whole bag was filled with my blood. Caryn bandaged up my arm, and sent me to the snacks table. You know, if it weren't for the snacks, I don't think I'd ever give blood. But, there are snacks, and these ones were especially good. For such a small place, they sure can afford good snacks!

After that, we walked around town again and Elizabeth showed me some houses that were around since the founding of the city, hers included. We didn't stop for lunch, though I'd wanted to. I didn't say anything, though, and neither did she. I guess she keeps her shape by not eating. I, however, have been blessed with a body that stays perfect no matter what I eat or do to it.

That night we split up for dinner again. I bet I know why Elizabeth doesn't want to have dinner with me! She's probably some fanatic like a veegan or something, and doesn't want to go somewhere that serves meat. Yes, that must be it. I, for one, was perfectly happy to dig into a steak and a nice big brownie a la mode.

After dinner, I met Elizabeth once more to go to that nightclub again. I was happy, because now that I knew it was perfectly safe, I'd have a much better time. I think I must've been in the sun too much that day to have thought that Aubrey was a vampire.

Again, I fell asleep on the way, and before I knew it, we were there. It really does have a great atmosphere. I wonder why the mirror is broken. I wish they'd fix it. I think it would look so much better that way. But no body listens to Buffy. Oh no. We wouldn't want to make things better.

So anyway, we went to the nightclub again, which I now know is called Las Noches. Once more, we met Aubrey and Jess. I do not know why I was so afraid of Aubrey, because now that I take a close look at him, he is GORGEOUS! Lucky I'm not at home, because there, it seems as though the only hot guys are vamps. I decided then and there that I would push Jess out of the way.

That didn't seem as though it was going to be hard. I mean, she's a writer of vampire books. How lame is that! If you actually knew anything about vamps, you'd be busy fighting them rather than just writing stories to scare little kids at night. So, disposing of her would likely be no problem. If she only knew about the real world. Oh well.

So, I turned on all of my considerable charm and set about to flirting with Aubrey. Naturally, he couldn't resist me, and was practically in my arms later that night. Before leaving, I danced a slow dance with him, and I could tell he totally wanted me. The best way to catch a man, however, is to stay distant, so I said goodbye, and all too soon was back in my hotel room in Concord. I'm really glad I decided to take this vacation.

**A/N:** Well, so ends another day in the life of our darling Slayer. If anyone has a good idea for a practical joke for Risika, Aubrey, and Jess to play on Buffy, please tell me, because I normally don't do humor like this. I may not use your idea, but I'd still appreciate it. Thanks all for reviewing!

Jade Limill: Sorry, complete mental block against this story after the first two chapters.

Blonde 101: Glad you find my story amusing even if you do like Buffy.

Canadian Vamp: Well, Aubrey hasn't gotten that bold yet, but you're right, I doubt she would notice.

The Insane One Types: Thank you.

Lady Prongs of Rohan: Sorry for the delay.

Shade: Thanks for the compliment.

Natalja Firesparrow: Thank you, I also liked the Miss Congeniality bit. Did you catch the part from Fern Gully in this chapter?

Deadly-Terrors: Glad you enjoyed.

Silver Kitsune: No, I really don't.


	4. Tiger, Tiger

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I do not own any of AAR's characters or settings. Thank goodness, I don't own Buffy either. Sorry about the delay: muse problems. Oh, yes. Though I had something like this in mind before her suggestion, I should mention that Anubiana gave me most of the idea for this chapter.

**Tiger, Tiger**

The next day, Risika again met Buffy at the coffee shop, bearing with her a small package. She was greeted by with a grunt by Buffy, who was apparently trying to stave off exhaustion and a slight hangover with caffeine. Risika, however, had no such problems. She'd tasted the Slayer's blood before going to sleep, and as she'd suspected, it was nothing special. She detected a faint hint of Triste blood, but very much diluted, and not nearly enough to be dangerous for her to drink. There was also a bit of the demon's essence that was every Slayer's heritage, but even that was rather weak in Buffy.

With these thoughts, she cried a happy "Good morning!" knowing it would annoy the weary Slayer to no end. Another grunt greeted her statement. "I brought you something..." Risika continued in a teasing voice, pushing the package across the table.

Buffy picked it up listlessly and unwrapped it. To her surprise, she found a dead likeness of Risika staring up at her from the cover of a book. "**Tiger, Tiger**? What's this?" Her stupor was broken by her irrepressible curiosity.

"It's by Jess! I thought you might be interested."

Buffy stared at Risika, eyes blank. "No, it says it was written by 'Ash Night'."

Risika bit back a snicker. "That's her pseudonym. You know, a false name? Anyway, it's one of the books I'd told you about. She'd based it on some of the people here at Concord. Hey, you look like you need a vacation from your vacation. Why don't you rest and read that for the morning, and I'll pick you up at one?

Risika was sure that even the rather dull Buffy would be able to finish the fairly short book by one in the afternoon. Buffy smiled, grateful for the extra rest. Risika decided to spy on her mind a bit. Though she didn't normally approve on looking in on mortal's minds, she was aching with curiosity.

"_Well, I don't particularly want to read anything by that slut, but I do want the rest, and how bad could it be? I can't prejudge because of ignorance. Well, here goes."_ Risika smirked. The girl actually thought that the 'vampires' in her town were all that there were! She exited the coffee house and, making sure no one was watching, disappeared.

When she reappeared, it was in her own house. No sooner had she arrived than she felt Aubrey and Jess on the outskirts of her territory. A small smile played on her lips as she disappeared once more to greet them.

"Welcome. Do you wish to come sit down?" Risika's greeting was the epitome of courtesy. United against the Slayer, all previous arguments had been set aside, an unspoken truce in place.

Aubrey especially knew what an effort it was for Risika to so cordially invite them into the heart of her territory. "Staying here is fine. I'm assuming you wanted to talk about Buffy?"

Risika nodded. "I did. I'm wondering how far you two are willing to go to teach her this lesson. I for one, get little enough entertainment these days."

As one, Jess and Aubrey nodded. "You're right. But if she tries to hard to get Aubrey, she's going to get a very different lesson, very quickly!" Jess' voice was fierce.

Aubrey hugged her around the shoulders and grinned. "Getting jealous, are we? Don't worry. I'm not one for the dumb blonde type. Dancing with her and things like that for a practical joke are one thing, but farther than that is quite another! Where is Barbie now, by the way?"

Risika smirked. "Sitting ensconced either in her hotel or my little coffee house, reading **Tiger, Tiger**! I decided she needed some more blatant hints."

Aubrey laughed. "I don't know if that's blatant enough for our beloved Slayer."

Jess chuckled as well. "Anyone up for a bet on how long it'll take her? Winner gets hunting rights on the losers' territories, no clean up necessary!"

The other two grinned predatorily at her. "You're on," they said as one, and gave each other disgusted looks at saying the same thing.

Jess grinned back. "I'll say she'll figure it out after couple of choice hints following reading my book. You guys?"

Risika and Aubrey looked at each other, neither wanting to slight or be slighted. Finally, Aubrey smiled mockingly and gave a mocking 'ladies first' gesture. Risika nodded politely. "I'm going to say we'll have to tell her strait out at the end of her vacation. She's much to oblivious to catch it otherwise. She was a cheerleader, you know."

Aubrey frowned. He'd been going to say that. "Well, I guess I can get her to figure it out after she's been 'seducing' me for a while. Maybe she'll get it when I bite her neck slightly."

At this, Jess turned to him, an annoyed look on her face. "Don't you think you're taking this a bit too far? You _do_ have a girlfriend, you know."

Aubrey smirked. "I do!?" At Jess' glare, he became serious. "Don't worry. I'm not the type who likes blondes that much. And a brain does also help." He smiled, turning on all of his considerable charm. Jess leant closer, and they kissed passionately.

Risika rolled her eyes. She cleared her throat loudly. "If you two are done playing tonsil tennis?" Both other vampires straitened, and Jess blushed slightly. "Thank you for meeting me here. I'll see you tonight?"

Jess quickly recovered her composure. "Of course. This is definitely a fun new game to play. If only she'd move here. It would make life _so _much more interesting." The two women exchanged a fond handshake. Much as she couldn't stand Aubrey, Risika had grown to like Jess' razor sharp wit and morbid sense of humor.

"I'd best be off before the Slayer starts to miss me." With that, she transported herself back to the café, not giving Aubrey any parting words. She reappeared in a small alleyway a block or so away from the small coffee shop.

**A/N:** Sorry this chapter was so short. I kind of forgot where I was going with the little meeting when I was halfway through writing it! Thanks to all reviewers. My offer to use someone's suggestion in a chapter is still alive, though the next one will be a continuation of this one, basically. Now, to answer reviews:

Irishgirl: (I'm writing this one first because I'm sure she's not reading it anyway, and I need to rant.) First, I've always felt that proper flame etiquette was to read the whole story, so you can bash my style, not just my plot. Though I support venting at offensive plots, at least comment on the writing style, whether good or bad. Secondly, I am in total agreement that Anne Rice's vampires are cooler than AAR's: if I owned the world and Lestat asked for it, it would be his. However, Rice's work is banned from the fanfic community. As to Buffy's crew: they crumble into dust when a piece of wood is put into them. On top of that, they have no magic, and are quite stupid on top of that. Finally, it doesn't take much to make Buffy look like a ditz: as Athor commented, she was a cheerleader. I think we can all agree (no matter which vampires we like), that playing with fire just isn't nice.

Deadly Terrors: Thanks for your continued support and reviews.

Jade: My problem too. Thanks for the suggestions, though. Something similar will be coming in the not-too-distant future.

Athor: Thanks so much for both reviews. Glad you agree with my Buffy is clueless feeling. As to Fern Gully: "No, nobody listens to Batty!" A million thanks for your support in my time of burned pain!

Anubiana: Thanks for the review, and help on the plot of this chapter and the next. As to Buffy's cluelessness, the bashing will continue with renewed vigor in the next chapter!

Areanah Gherde: I'll try! Thanks for the review.

Ringo's Wildrose: Thanks for your support. I'm glad you can read past my pashing and appreciate my little jokes.

Shade: What? Risika's Hospital for Aged Women? I like that quite a bit too. And save for the hospital part, none of its even a lie!

Jullez: Thanks for the support and comfort.

Empath89: Thanks for the review. I agree, the show itself isn't bad (though I personally like Angel better) but Buffy's just an idiot. I'm glad you're enjoying my story so much.


	5. Predator or Prey?

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I don't own any of Amelia Atwater-Rhodes' characters. Very fortunately, I do not own Buffy or any of the characters associated with her. I also do not own the musical Wicked, which gave me a bit of inspiration for a couple of Buffy's lines. Warning: To those of you sensitive Slayers out there, much Buffy bashing ahead!

**Predator or Prey?**

_My dear Nathaniel,_

_It has been a while since we've spoken, but I am not writing for social reasons. A couple of days ago, a Slayer wandered into my grasp. Jessica, Aubrey, and myself are having a little bet as to when she'll figure out our true identities. The winner gets hunting rights on the losers' territories for a year. I know you've always enjoyed playing with humans, so I'd love it if you could join us this afternoon. Jaguar and Turquoise are most certainly invited as well if you can find them, and should Turquoise win, obviously she'll be able to take a different prize. I do hope you can join us!_

_Yours truly,_

_Risika_

**Buffy's Diary:**

**6 PM July 5, 2004:** Boy, that Elizabeth sure hangs out with some interesting people! And they're all so beautiful. I thought it was only my town that had the people with the perfectly flawless figures like me, to make up for the Hell Mouth being there or something… So anyway, this afternoon, she introduced me to three of her other friends. There were two guys and a girl, and one of the guys had his arm around the girl's shoulders protectively.

The lone guy was introduced to me as Nathaniel. He is a handsome, dark skinned man in his early twenties, and his physique is _gorgeous_. He greeted me with a small smile, and bent over to kiss my hand. And people say that chivalry is a dead art!

The girl was beautiful, but she had an air about her that I didn't really like. There was something distinctly aggressive about her, and it made me dislike her instantly. If I thought that there were vampires here, and that they would be having a light lunch in a normal Chinese restaurant, I would've said that she definitely was one. This predatory specimen was introduced to me as Audra.

Finally, I was introduced to Audra's boyfriend, who was as gorgeous as Aubrey, but in a very different way. My first impression of the young man called Kyle was of majestic catlike grace. He seemed somehow out of place in his form-fitting black jeans and loosely cut, medieval looking shirt. His hair was very long, and tied in a ponytail behind his tanned face. Yummy!

So anyway… It was kind of odd, throughout lunch, Audra was the only one other than myself to do anything but pick at the food. And (I'm _so_ perceptive!) Audra kept looking at Nathaniel, alternately glaring at him and grinning as though drinking tea were the funniest thing in the world. If Kyle hadn't been watching the whole thing too, I would have said that Audra was cheating on him. (Though I definitely don't know why!)

So, we started talking and surprisingly Audra, Kyle, and I all share an interest! I started talking about what we do, just to make small talk. Nathaniel said that he sells his words. I guess he must be a freelance writer. I turned to Audra and Kyle, and Kyle spoke. He has the most beautiful voice!

"Audra and I are both masters of martial arts. I specialize in control and discipline." His voice was so smooth, and it sounded almost sinister. I love dark voices like that… Aubrey has a dark voice…

So anyway, I replied "Oh really? I have an interest in martial arts too! I've never studied with a school or anything, but I think I'm pretty good. Hey, I haven't practiced these past couple of days, but do you want to spar?"

Audra grinned at me, her eyes glinting. "Definitely. It's been months since my last real challenge, aside from … Kyle." Hmm, I wonder why she paused like that before saying Kyle's name. Oh well.

"I have a gym in my basement." Elizabeth spoke. "If you want, after lunch we can go there." I was pretty happy about this. It would give me a great chance to work out, and in case Audra was actually any good, it would be the challenge that I had been hoping for. And, the added benefit would be putting that uppity girl in her place, as I definitely would! Aside from my super-sharp reflexes and my strength, as a Slayer I can withstand injuries that would have most humans knocked out cold, so there is definitely no way I couldn't win.

"Great! It should be fun." I smiled at Audra. Just because I didn't like her didn't mean that I shouldn't be nice to her. I'm always nice to people. It's one of my charms.

So, after lunch, we rode back to Elizabeth's house. I had never actually been in her house. It really is a very nice house. It is so big! She didn't show us the whole house (very inconsiderate host, if you ask me), and she brought us directly down to the basement. It had the most amazing supply of weapons I'd ever seen, both for practice and true fights. It was even better than Giles' collection. Hah, he won't be very happy to hear that when I get back…

Anyhoo, it was amazing. There were all kinds of blades and firearms all over the walls, and even a couple of whips. I wonder if Jess had actually been down here before she wrote her book. If she had, it's no wonder she thought she could write Elizabeth off as a vampire. Elizabeth said she is a collector of old weapons, but I'm starting to wonder. Maybe she trades weapons like that on the black market!

Audra and I took of our shoes and stretched before walking onto the smooth sparring mats. Audra started to circle, looking at the weapons on the walls, and I followed her. "What weapon do you normally use?" Her question caught me completely off guard as I stared at the artwork on a wooden crossbow.

"Me? Oh, usually I use a wooden stake…" I definitely did _not_ blow my cover and say that because I forgot, I was just warning her not to mess with me. Surprisingly, Audra didn't seem shocked by that at all.

"Hmm. I usually prefer silver knives for that kind of job myself. They're so much less bulky, and less fragile. Not to mention the fact that they look so much classier." Look classier, heh. Giles never got _me_ a set of silver knives… I wonder why she mentioned fighting with them being a job. We must be talking about completely different things, but as long as no one notices, it doesn't really matter.

"How about these?" Audra took down a pair of long, dull practice knives. Whether I'd wanted to fight with them or not, I had to accept for my pride. However, it was a grin, not a wince that I had to cover. They were almost exactly the length of the stakes that I normally use, and therefore my best weapon. I took one soundlessly, and padded to the center of the room, with Audra following.

We stood a few paces apart, facing each other. Kyle seemed to have decided to be the official referee. "Third blood?" Audra nodded, so I followed suit. I didn't actually think that we were going to be fighting for blood! "Then begin!"

Audra and I began to circle each other, seeking out our opponent's weaknesses. She feinted forward, and I stepped back, very nimbly if I do say so myself. We circled for another minute, and then I lunged forward, blade first. Audra flinched back, and her knife sliced me neatly on one cheek. I definitely did _not_ cry out, and she only got me because I was going easy on her in the first place.

"First blood, Buffy." It was the first time that she had spoken in the whole duel, and her voice was oddly hollow, and completely focused. I continued to circle her soundlessly, with slightly more respect for my foe. This time, I was able to wait her out. She rushed at me, and cut a thin line of red on the other cheek, mirroring my first injury. I allowed her to gain the edge as I kicked out and brought her down hard on her back. She sliced at my ankle, but I didn't think she'd actually hit me, since I jumped back very quickly. Before she could get up, I sliced her shoulder open lightly with the practice blade. "First blood, Audra."

With a lunge of superhuman speed and agility, Audra stood up again. "Third blood." Her voice was soft and deadly. I looked at her in shock, and then suddenly noticed that my ankle hurt. When I looked down, I was shocked to see blood dripping to the floor. I would've attacked her again, but Kyle stepped between us and reminded me of where I was. Of course, Audra just won because I was going easy on her. If we'd gone again, I would have kicked her butt.

We shook hands, and I noticed she barely had worked up a sweat. Suddenly, I realized why she was so fast! I decided that I would have to warn Kyle, before he got hurt. As soon as possible, I made my way over to him and pulled him aside.

"Can I speak to you for a minute?" His arms were so muscled! "Alone?" I looked significantly at Audra, who was waiting for him. He nodded to her, and she left. "I know you might not want to hear this, but your girlfriend is dangerous!" I was ready for any reaction, from fear to anger, but not his calm smile.

The smile lit up Kyle's whole face. "Oh, I know that well." He smirked slightly.

"No, I don't think you understand what I'm saying. I think she might kill you. I don't just mean dangerous like she has the ability; I think she'd actually do something!" How could I make him understand something like this?

For some macabre reason, Kyle kept grinning. "Not any more. She might've tried at one point, but she'd never succeed." Wow, big biceps, and an ego to match!

"Kyle, I know what I'm about to say may sound crazy, but I know what I'm talking about. Please, try to believe me, and don't get mad. I think that Audra is a vampire!"

**A/N:** Well, I am sorry it took me so long to update. Besides being under a mountain of school related work, I also lost all inspiration for this story temporarily. However, I do have something already planned for the next chapter, so barring outside problems, it should not be too long for that one. (Yes, I know, I always say that. This time I really mean it!) On a more serious note, because of the new restrictions set out by fanfic, if you were nice enough to send me an anonymous review, I can't reply to you any more. If you want a personal reply, please include an e-mail address. If for some reason you cannot, please let me know and I will somehow reply in the chapter. To everyone who reviewed, thank you so much for all of your comments! Everything is greatly appreciated. If you feel like flaming, please remember I fight fire with fire. I do greatly appreciate constructive criticism, however. Lastly, a big thank you to my beta, Valgoruth! Remember to push the little periwinkle colored button on the bottom of the screen!


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